There was a “time” when I knew grief had existed my life and healing was beginning it’s long-term process.
No. I don’t know exactly “when” that began or “when” it had taken place. I simply knew.
There was a “time” when I knew I would not be able to do music as in the past, even though what was in the past it was never thought about as returning as it once was.
No. I don’t know exactly “when” the walk out of the room of my life where the word “no” seemed to be prevalent in all aspects of music began or when it was simply no more.
But today, Sunday, March 25, 2019, nine years and seven months later, I know I have passed from those “rooms” in my life out onto the “porch” of life for me. I know I am capable of music once again, though not saturating my very soul as it once did, still, there is a desire to serve once again how when, where I do not know.
I might say that this segment of living is like having a pair of shoes that need to be polished. Once polished they look so lovely. That is the way music once was. It was so polished. Now it seems the same without the polish and yet shape and form is still there.
I can attest though to the fact that any Gift that God gives you never is taken away. The “Gift” that He gave to me of Helps remains very much intact and useful. That I am very grateful for. It gives me stability. It gives me satisfaction. Since it is the Holy Spirit that gives the “gifts” it is not something that we can put a dent in. We can only use it. It is always there. No polish needed. No rough edges to it. It is just what it is – – the Gift from God given through the Holy Spirit who comes to live within when we have accepted Christ as our Savior.
We may have “talent” whether saved or not. They are not the “Gifts of the Spirit”. Talents are something we can learn by rehearsing and perfecting them. Gifts of the Spirit are simply there and that’s it. We use them or they lay dormant. But when we pick it up and begin to use it, it is just like it was before – there for our availability.
God is so good. I am making my way to the day that a whole decade will come to an end without having been with my Loren. I have no idea how much more time I will be given to live but in reading through the Psalms, last night I read in Psa. 119:37, “Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things.” The things of the Spirit. the things the Lord has laid up for me that He can do through me, is where I am headed. May His will be done in my life.
In His Hands and On His Road!