Happy Valentines day to my husband! Happy Anniversary to my husband! How fast 41 years of marriage (1967-2008) seems to have gone. On the other hand, it has been a very long, almost ten years (6/20/08-6/20/18) without my Loren. Fast – – – but slow.
He had my heart. For some reason he forgot to give it back before he left. Or maybe I simply forgot to take it back. I don’t know. He was an amazing person. So easy to love. So easy to talk to. So easy to be with and not have to say a word. The only thing I regret is that he never taught me how to live without him. And I guess, in reality, he couldn’t because…………..he was with me. it was simply something I would have to learn on my own.
Last week I bought an anniversary card. I have every year. When I got to the register the gal said “you must really love your husband.” I said, “I did. And I do.” She said, “Excuse me? I don’t understand”. I told her that my husband had been with my Lord for the past decade but I have never missed getting the card for him, just as I knew he would have for me had the tables been turned.” A tear fell from her eyes. She said, “I wish I could love my husband that much”. As she spoke, another customer came up behind me. So as she handed me the card and receipt I said to her, “I pray our Lord will bless you today,” and I moved on.
The 10 years that followed those 41 were growing, failing, loosing, learning, stretching, reaching, reckless, searching, wandering, yielding, and finding one’s self years.
In spite of everything that I got in to, or had happen to me – – in spite of it – – I knew I was never out of the grasp of the Lord’s love and His concern for this wandering person that He had created years ago. He loved me with an everlasting love that only He could give. Thank you, Lord.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806 – 1861) wrote this Sonnet as a result of being so very much in love with Mr. Browning. I have shared it before. May you too, be blest by it. I can relate.
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.”
Ah……..yes…….”I SHALL but love thee better after death“. HOW CAN THAT BE!!! It can be, alright. That love has a stronger, eternal base to it than the earthly, limited time that we are given to love. Earthly will pass away. Eternal, will not.
So richly blest by the 41 years of marriage to Loren. The love we shared showed it’s face with an everlasting earth-style shape/form.
Now. Almost 10 years later, it is a love that has become “better after death“. It shows itself in a way that you can not see or comprehend, or “touch”. It drenches your very being, and there are no words in the English language to explain it.
“I shall but love thee better after death”. Amen!